This entry is about my friend Amanda Allcox. She is an absolutely amazing person, she has over come so much and it’s not fair that she struggles with things day to day, at some point shouldn’t things get easier? I just wanted to take this chance to tell everyone her story. Amanda is a 27-year-old single mother of 2. I say single because in all aspects she is. She has a boyfriend who is the father of her youngest but she may as well be single, and a single mother of 3 if you add his son from a previous marriage into the mix.

I met Amanda about a year ago, but didn’t really get to know her until last December when she moved in with me. At the time I was dating her ex boyfriend and father of her first son. I had gone months listening to how horrible she was and how she was a drug addict and a terrible mother, and it wasn’t until I got to know her and hear her story that I realized that none of it was true.

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A Mother’s Love
5-15-2008

To Whom It May Concern,

Today you dealt me a blow that rocked me to the core. At least that is how it felt when I first heard the words that spewed from you mouth, "Your son will never be employable. He does not possess the attributes of the type of the students we teach. He asks too many questions and challenges authority.”

Who gives anyone the right to decide what my son can and can not do. I have been blessed to have been given a child who has Autism. Aspergers actually. He is brilliant, funny, inquisitive and yes a challenge. God for some reason decided that I was the best qualified to raise this amazing child. I have watched him grow, learn and develop into a great young man. A man who has morals, values and ethics. I take great pride in raising a man who puts others before himself. It is a rare quality in today’s world.

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A Mother’s Love
5-15-2008

To Whom It May Concern,

Today you dealt me a blow that rocked me to the core. At least that is how it felt when I first heard the words that spewed from you mouth, "Your son will never be employable. He does not possess the attributes of the type of the students we teach. He asks too many questions and challenges authority.”

Who gives anyone the right to decide what my son can and can not do. I have been blessed to have been given a child who has Autism. Aspergers actually. He is brilliant, funny, inquisitive and yes a challenge. God for some reason decided that I was the best qualified to raise this amazing child. I have watched him grow, learn and develop into a great young man. A man who has morals, values and ethics. I take great pride in raising a man who puts others before himself. It is a rare quality in today’s world.

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DISCONNECTED FROM REALITY

The past few days I have done a lot of soul searching. I am seated on American Airlines flight 234 headed to Miami for a seven day cruise and what’s suppose to be lots of rest and relaxation with the man who I have always thought of as my lifetime. Funny, how events in your life will alter the way you feel about life and everyone in it. From day to day, hour to hour, and minute to minute your life, feelings, and actions are constantly changing. Normally, I would be blissfully happy because we are together but today I am totally disgusted and nothing about my mood is pleasant. I bet he noticed it from the time I arrived in NY. I guess that is why he made no attempts at making love to me last night. His behavior is not like I remembered. Maybe he is just reacting to me. In any case at this point in my life I really don’t care. I am tired of short-changing myself. At this very moment I have made the decision to end things with him. I’m tired of always coming up short with him. I will just wait for the right time to tell him. Ten years is more than enough time to know what you want.

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As I walk along the cliff just outside my childhood home, I see the open space is filled with the gentle ocean spray. The smell of the sea permeated the air. The warmth of the sun caressed my skin. Under the weeping willow was an old park bench, stained with the ageless wisdom of those who came before me. I sat watching the surf crashing into the cliff's below. I listened as the clandestine chorus of the seagulls confer with each other
as they fished for their evening meal. My eyes are wide open, yet my heart is closed. I feel my mind taking me to another place in another time. I am falling into my own mind. A helpless traveler waiting for the unknown destination. I inhale the salty air and I am instantly rejuvenated. I am awaiting the awakening of my soul.

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