Trust – should you give or be given first ?

Trust as a notion is quite an interesting one. Whether to give it first to someone, or wait for someone to prove it in your case has been a question I have long waited to understand, and something I have been observing, both by indulging in it myself and also watching others juggling it in their daily lives.

But one thing you and I could agree on possibly is the fact that at some point in your life, someone has broken the trust you had in them. As with most things in life - being old enough to be able to live with the consequences - I thought of dabbling in the age old technique of finding things out, what else, 'trial and error' indeed !

I must admit this was never a planned matter at all. One night whilst I was returning from a dinner outing with my family, there was a family funeral we heard of out of town, and someone had to accompany my uncle to it. I volunteered to take one of my cousins to school (up and down) so that my other uncle could take the journey.

Then came the time to take my cousin and I couldn't really get in touch with my usual tuk-tuk blokes so I took a walk to the main road to find one passing by. Then I met this gentlemen (in his early 40's), and having agreed on a fair deal, we took off. And through the journey, he seldom spoke in contrary to me, who cant get enough of opportunities to jabber.

At some point closer to our destination, I asked him how much he would charge me for both the up and down journey now, and also if he had to come back in a few hours for the pick up as well... and we agreed on a rate which I thought was fair, and I got myself dropped off on the way so that I could finish off some errand.

At this point, a thought struck me and I saw a golden opportunity to see 2 things, one - am I able to truly trust someone whom I met for the first time ? and two - if a total stranger could live up to holding that trust ? Then I paid him the full amount (including for the pick up later), for which he said 'NO' at first but took it upon my insistence. Then I gave him the address where he had to pick me up at, since I was getting dropped half way.

As I thought I would, I got a battering from some at home for doing something they thought was stupid, but I was adamant that I did the right thing and defended myself by saying how could one expect trust when one is not willing to give it ? (I dont blame my folks for it though, anyone would have thought I was crazy, rightfully so).

And as I expected, he came, 5 minutes before the time we agreed on. I was very happy to have proven my folks wrong, and even more happy that my experiment worked. Although I might have done the same in different ways over the years, this was the first time I tried so with an intent to finding out the 'trust' factor.

However, I wish to note that I am not trying to get you guys pay your tuk-tuk rides in advance and get let down... Rather I wanted to shed some light on the possibilities, only if we took that first step, and practice the wonderful art of giving, than wait to be given !

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